CHARLESTON, S.C. (WCSC) - Parents, spouses, children and friends who lost their loved ones to suicide are sharing their stories to advocate for prevention methods in first responder roles.
Paige Tyner is the surviving widow of Charleston County Sheriff's Office Master Deputy Keith Tyner. Tyner passed tragically in 2021 to suicide at 41 years old.
Tyner described her late husband as a proud father of four. His obituaries claim "his family was his life."
"Keith was a miracle in my life, a miracle. He was the person I was supposed to be with. I've spent four years working and wrestling toward acceptance," Tyner said. "He's gone. But I am determined to still be his help. He loved protecting people and rescuing people. He loved serving."
Tyner says she activated her grief into a catalyst for ending the stigma around first responder mental health concerns, joining a group of other loved ones around the nation who have also grieved a similar loss.
Half a dozen of those people, including the loved ones of Charleston Fire Chief Chris Vanhoy, Firefighter and Medic Kaitlin Bergan, North Carolina Lieutenant Don Webb, Ohio Lieutenant Marc Wagner and Mount Pleasant Officer Timothy "Lefty" Arthur Hartsell sat with Tyner over Zoom as she recalled her late husband's story.
The group is part of First H.E.L.P, which stands for Honor, Educate, Lead and Prevent, and advocates for fallen heroes and their families. Group leaders explain first responders are often treated differently for seeking help, despite the weight of their careers.
Many of those who passed were young, some under the age of 50. Each of them left behind communities that knew them well as heroes, and the situation at hand, they could not believe.
Tyner said her late husband took his life in the kitchen before what was meant to be a normal day at work.
"He was in uniform, on an assigned day shift. I never once thought that could happen. He called me, and the last thing he said to me was 'I just want to be sure I told you I loved you,'" Tyner said. "How is this happening, how often is it happening? Then I found out, it's an endemic. And nobody ever told me, Keith certainly never told me."
A report from the CDC claims law enforcement and firefighter deaths by suicide are climbing, but despite the numbers, deaths are likely still underreported.
Another report from FEMA lists law enforcement officers making up 58% of suicides, 21% firefighters and 18% EMS providers.
Loved ones explain there is a never-ending pressure to not report mental health issues due to the potential label of being "unfit" for the job, and because there is no statute, heroes are less likely to ask for help.
They continue to describe the journeys of those in law enforcement, firefighting and EMS as ones often not told or heard. Many, they add, said the concept of the job often reduces their ability to speak out about concerns for mental health.
Tyner was one of several in the crowd who felt they were left in the dark when their loved one was struggling.
The group is advocating for mandated resiliency training. The Lowcountry has local efforts, including crisis chaplaincy, therapy and peer support programs and even apps to share articles and hotline information, but none of the resources are required by law.
Tyner explains that awareness into action is slow-going, agency by agency. The current system, she says, is not effective.
The training being advocated for is not only talk, but it includes proactive care instead of reactive. It would include stress management, emotional regulation, crisis response, team cohesion, adaptability, mental health and community relations. The training would be implemented consistently, not only on a one-time basis.
"It's time to stop saying they signed up for it, so they know what they were getting into. We owe it to them to teach them how to protect themselves," Tyner said.
The Charleston Fire Department offers the following services to those who are looking for help:
If you are in an emergency, you are urged to call the national suicide hotline number at 988.