I have zero memory of the Y2K freak out, I had just turned three and don't remember that far back, now at 27. I remember the Mayan calendar ending, the first Trump presidency, the '08 financial meltdown and quarantine, Nibiru's collision with Earth, and a handful of other end-of-the-world prophecies, so Y2K doesn't hold much weight for me. There's just been a lot going on, you know?
But still, an alternate timeline flick in which technology comes alive at the dawn of the new millennium then proceeds to savage the world and gives nerdy teens a chance at romance?
I'm game.
Until that first shot clicked on, and I realized how much the reminiscing would be overcompensating for the lack of plot. Kyle Mooney, who stars in the film as stoner video clerk Garret, takes his first stab at directing a feature here. His inexperience seems to have made him panic. Unable to trust his ability to guide Y2K's story, he instead comes up with every late '90s reference he can and clogs the screen with it. The dial-up tone when signing online, AOL, and Bill Clinton -- all slammed onto the screen within 30 seconds of the fade-in.
I'm just so bored; it's such a resignation from the past. Every scene, every screen, every piece of writing has nostalgia baked into it. It's lazy, it's silly, it's vile.
This happened 25 years ago! And I'm not saying there's no room for slice-of-life coming-of-age movies made after the fact, but this one relies entirely on that past for content.
Juxtapose it with "Dazed and Confused," made in 1993 but depicting the ecstasy of being a teenager in 1976, it sits as an almost undisputed classic. Or the more recent "Mid90s," which focused on impending adolescence and surviving in a pigeonholed world. Both manage to make their contemporary period pieces timeless despite their dated setting by making their stories undeniable. Both are plots, characters, and lessons that could have taken place at any time or any place and use their setting as a unique backdrop.
"Y2K" does none of these things; "Y2K" is a complete surrender to celebrating a bygone era, relying entirely on those notes to excite a viewer. The narrative unfolds between vintage logos and forgotten jargon. "Look at us!" it cries. "We reminded everybody that pooka shells used to be popular!"
The least amount of attention must have been paid to performances, as besides Mooney's character and perhaps one more minor role, the ensemble work here is atrocious. Both writing and acting are at an all-time low here, with The Kid LAROI taking a break from his DJing to turn in the worst performance I have seen since I started criticizing films professionally. Principal actors Jaeden Martell and Rachel Zegler fare no better, which is a shame as they are featured on screen almost every second, somehow getting worse and worse when anything more is asked of them than a sing-along of some 1999 pop hit. We lose the best two characters early on in the film, and while one of them was certainly depicted as a villain, you still feel bad when he goes, as it means you're stuck with everybody else.
It is not completely devoid of artistic merit; I just wish Mooney had had the confidence to let the quality speak for itself. The immediate slew of robot kills upon the stroke of midnight are extraordinarily well done in both their creativity and technical execution. As the machines combine powers, a poor man's David Cronenberg impression is accomplished with top-notch craft in makeup and practical effects. It stands at the best scene in the film by a wide margin, with the visual themes presented never returned to. Had they been used again, the film could have stood as a zany, over-the-top horror-comedy, as the film does have a handful of laugh-out-loud moments.
A particular cameo that I won't spoil is handled exceptionally well, but its hysterics can't overcome the amateurish shot execution and overall poor directorial choices. It creates a film that lacks an identity. Meandering through its entirety without anything to say.
I don't know what I expected; I don't know why I thought it'd be anything different and not completely A24-ified. They have made it their business to churn out pretty-looking trailers and then underdeliver on their films. "Y2K" is just another name on that list. I hope my generation learns a lesson here, looks forward, and does not resign itself to the mindless jollification of our past.
Critic Score: 4.5/10